Discontent

In times of social distancing and quarantine I have become profoundly aware of a deep dissatisfaction with my life. I have been out a job for a couple of months. I have been waiting to start a new job that just got pushed back, because of the corona virus. So here I am, locked up at home, with house chores, no husband, no children, and essentially no sense of purpose.  

As Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians "... for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:11-12. I am must definitely doing something wrong, I am supposed to be content no matter what I go through. And yet all I feel is a deep, dark discontent. 

Yesterday I listened to a sermon from John Calvin that might have had given me a glimpse of what is happening inside of my mad soul. Calvin stated, trough the voice of a person who obviously wasn't him, that even thought we were to be grateful for the life God has given us on this earth, we must definitely long for the future life instead of the present one. He said that God made sure that we went though circumstances on this earth that would remind us constantly that the future life was more desirable than this one. This in spite of the fact that we as humans are always more inclined to latch on to this, less than ideal, life.

This sounds very cruel.  But when one stops and ponders it for a little while, you start to realize it is true. That is what we feel on the inside. We long for eternity and we know that this life ain't it.

So, what do we do with that? Do we just not try on this life and wait for the next one? Well let me pray about it and I'll tr to answer it on my next blog.